A Rebuttal to the Modern Meanings of Flowers

by Joshua Siegel

Red roses: “I gave you flowers!”

Carnations: “I gave you totally acceptable flowers!”

Daisies: “I gave you flowers!”

Orchid: “I gave you flowers!”

Stargazer Lilies: “I gave you flowers!”

Mums: “I gave you flowers!”

Peonies: “I gave you flowers that I had never heard of previously!”

Hydrangeas: “I’m gay. I gave you flowers!”

Calla Lilies: “Here are flowers, flowers that I gave you!”

Gladiolas: “Seriously? I gave you flowers!”

Sunflowers: “I gave you gigantic flowers!”

Tulips: “I gave you flowers!”

Mixed bunch: “”I gave you mixed, pretty flowers!”

A Corsage: “OK, I should not have given you these specific flowers.”

Joshua Siegel is a freelance writer and aspiring international relations worker who lives in Brooklyn.