Soccer Players Are Hot: A Sonnet

A sonnet about how hot soccer players are, the “peg” of which is yesterday’s Euro 2016 final.

Transfix’d ‘fore screen aglow with thee, thine pitch
Thoust bod obscured by shirt and lengthy sock
Running athwart dost thou a crowd bewitch
Atop thine head a beautiful mohawk

With pow’rful legs the ball doth kick amain
Thine arms used less but argu’bly more fair
When kick’d an injury dost thou, aye, feign
But face so good who care who care who care

Mayhap a spell allowst thou to ascend
To hot reach’d heretofore only by sun
“They’re thin but also muscular” quoth friend
“Not too muscular though” quoth other one

Ah, Portugal! Ah, France! Euro Sixteen!
To me, all winners. You know what I mean?