Lace Underwear That Was Sexy Until All Your Pubes Poked Through It

Image: Helga Weber via Flickr

Trying something new in the bedroom is always exciting, and sometimes all it takes is a new pair of panties to spice things up! Here are five lace panties that will make any night extra steamy, and your pubes are 100% guaranteed to burst right on through all of them.

This gorgeous boy short’s intricate lace pattern is perfect for adding a little extra romance to any evening. You’ll feel like an absolute goddess in these until your pubes poke through the mesh, turning it into a freaky kind of hairnet. There is a huge difference from how they look in the box and how they look on your box because clearly whoever designed these panties figured you’d at least trim a little before putting them on. Hahahahahah, no. Bare Necessities $26

Let out your inner bad girl with this cheeky thong! The caging in the back adds visual interest and draws attention to all the right places. Speaking of which, try to keep your ass towards your partner as much as possible, because when you turn around they will probably become incredibly distracted by your pubes trying to break out of the cheap pleather prison you put them in. Victoria’s Secret, $32

This delicate panty is delightfully feminine, with playful bows and fine mesh that reminds us of a ballerina’s tulle skirt. You’ll love how the tiny lace webbing glides effortlessly over your skin, provided you’re fresh off a Brazilian wax. Otherwise, I’m not going to lie to you: this one is a tangle risk. Proceed with extreme caution. Aerie, $19

Who says lingerie has to be skimpy to be sexy? This signature high-waisted brief is great for those who aren’t looking to reveal everything all at once! These briefs are cut to hit above your hips for a seductive vintage look, while the French lace creates a tantalizing game of peek-a-boo. It’s worth noting that even though these briefs provide more coverage, your pubes are still going to work their way right through that French lace in no time, and it will for sure look like your crotch is trying to eat your underwear. Journelle, $38

This sensual lace bikini is a real game-changer. The sides are constructed from an irresistibly touchable silk blend, while the lace window in front showcases all the goods. The come-hither embroidery on the lace is a detail your lover won’t be able to stop thinking about anytime soon. Theoretically, that is. When I tried these on, my pubes shot through that lace like a bat out of hell and completely obscured the embroidery. But hey, your mileage may vary. Soma, $16