Pick Up Lines That Would Actually Work on Me

1. You’re gorgeous. Would you be interested in sharing your beauty secrets with me over coffee sometime?
2. Can you pet my dog while I go to the bathroom?
3. I couldn’t help but notice you’re here all alone. I’d love to keep you company if you’re willing to listen to me talk about my recent trip to the Global Seed Vault on the arctic island of Svalbard for three hours straight.
4. I don’t want to interrupt your conversation but I just have to ask – who’s your favorite spin instructor and why?
5. Hi, I’m Jim. I bet you’ve had a really interesting eyebrow journey, and if you’ll let me buy you a drink, I’d love to hear all about it.
6. Me and my buddy here are in the middle of a debate and I think you may be able to settle it for us. He says Casey Anthony is guilty, I say she’s innocent. Do you happen to know every single detail about the case off the top of your head?
7. I can’t leave without asking you one question – when you were growing up, did your dad also seem to kind of enjoy his weekly trip to the dump?
8. You look like a woman who has a favorite Nora Ephron essay, and I’m a man who’d love to hear about it.
9. I hate to bother you, but you seem like you might have a strong opinion about the fact that Jennifer Aniston is finally returning to TV.
10. I’ll be straight with you – I just broke up with my girlfriend because she disagreed when I said Janet Jackson actually eclipsed her brother Michael in terms of talent, influence and originality. You seem really nice, so if we could just hang out and talk about Janet’s legacy for a while, I’d like that.
11. Would you like to take to sea sometime?
12. I’ve been sitting at this bar all night, just waiting for someone to show up and explain to me why Alberto Tomba is so important to the sport of alpine ski racing, and I have this crazy feeling you might be that person.
13. Please tell me if I’m way off base here, but I’m trying to decide between two pairs of sneakers and I’d love your input.
14. This is going to sound completely nuts, but I’m sick of everything I normally eat for lunch so I’m crowdsourcing suggestions. Got any?
15. I was just about to use the juke box but I don’t know what to play. I tend to like alternative rock bands that formed in Western Massachusetts in the mid 1980s, but I can’t think of any right now…
16. I’m Steve. Have you gotten any cool bruises lately?

Image: martin.mutch via Flickr