Admission: I Should Have Downloaded The Jeremy Renner iPhone App Immediately
Kelly Conaboy admits a mistake.
A not-insignificant portion of my career has been dedicated to chronicling the misdeeds of the dreaded Jeremy Renner, America’s “bad” boy, “bad” meaning just regular bad, I hate him so much and I think about his publicist Susan Patricola regularly. One would think that professional interest would have led to me download Jeremy Renner’s iPhone app (“Jeremy Renner”) immediately upon its release. I did not do this, and it was a mistake. I am admitting that now.
I made a mistake.
It is not as if I did not know about the app. Multiple people brought it to my attention, which is not a brag though it does illustrate how I either have multiple friends or multiple non-friends who have paid enough attention to my career to know about my grudge against the demon Jaramy Renor which can in some cases be even better than friends. I knew about it. And I didn’t download it. This was wrong and I admit it.
To be honest with you, which is the purpose of this exercise, I didn’t want to download it primarily because the idea exhausted me and then also because other people were already writing about it, specifically my friend Kate Knibbs and my acquaintance Jackson McHenry and a person I met once at a “Gilmore Girls” fan festival Kaitlyn Tiffany. Probably some people I never even met at all wrote about it, too. (!) I thought: I am not going to download this app that everybody is already talking about.
This was wrong.
Because.
I could have still been talking about it now.
And wouldn’t that be “funny”?
This is a look into the process of blogging.
Brian Feldman still tweets about it sometimes, and I’m envious of his tweets such as this one:
update to the jeremy renner app says there are jeremy renner emoji but i can’t find them
I think if I had downloaded “Jeremy Renner,” the Jeremy Renner app, immediately, I could have had at least two posts per month dedicated to the Jeremy Renner app. That would have been pretty good. But what am I going to do about it now? Download it? Months after its release? No. My phone doesn’t have the space. I have to delete apps to take photos.
Look at this review from Girl79@$@ who gave it two stars in the app store:
Renner is an amazing talent actor and probably an awesome person but the app is boring. Unless you want to see more of what you see on Instagram follow it. He will do contests and stuff. There is more security less ads. You get to talk to fans more. This is based on a star system and only the top three he will see but only the same 5 people dominate that. So you need to have money to have tons of stars. This isn’t an attack on Renner because this is what you get when you follow a friend sometimes and you just find they are so boring but is very fancy with the camera. So if your a rich woman with kids you will love this the rest your going to be bored.
You realize Renner is human like the rest of us with his ever growing shots of his kid and landscapes and him crowded on a plane.
Incredible. I asked Brian Feldman, who writes for New Yorker Magazine’s “Reply All,” how many times he gets push notifications from the app earlier today and he said, “Maybe once a day. Sometimes he’ll send out a few in quick succession.” Incredible. I asked what they’re about and he said, “Honestly, I’m never sure what they’re about because I never open the app. They’re photo captions. I love the mystery.” Incredible. That app sounds insane. But I’ll never know because of the space issue I already detailed and also I’m not gonna download some old app.
It was fucked up that I didn’t download this app immediately.
My bad,
Kelly