Awl Office Candle Review: Seda France, Japanese Quince
The latest Awl edition of The Hairpin’s popular candle column.
“The Office.” A popular sitcom, but what else? Good question. Webster’s Dictionary defines “office” as “a special duty, charge, or position conferred by an exercise of governmental authority and for a public purpose : a position of authority to exercise a public function and to receive whatever emoluments may belong to it.” So that’s interesting. Now we know that “office” can mean either:
- A popular sitcom.
- A special duty, charge, or position conferred by an exercise of governmental authority and for a public purpose : a position of authority to exercise a public function and to receive whatever emoluments may belong to it.
If it isn’t too bold, I’d like to add a third definition. It is as follows:
3. The place, room, or space in Brooklyn where Mike Dang’s Seda France, “Japanese Quince” candle is : a building Kelly Conaboy rarely visits, opting often to “work from home.”
I will pay close attention to the 2018 editions of dictionaries to see that the definition has been updated accordingly and if not I will follow-up.
Japanese Quince, what does it mean to you? “Well, what does it mean to you,” you’re wondering, rudely, “you” meaning me, Kelly. OK. Well, that’s none of your business. It’s rude to pry. I can tell you what it means to Seda France, though — oh you’d probably love that, wouldn’t you? “Oooh yeah, gimme the dirt.” That’s you. Disgusting.
To Seda France, “Japanese Quince” means:
Appealingly provocative, Japanese Quince, is a piquant fragrance with aspects of rhubarb, passion fruit and white fleshed peach over a heart of white jasmine petals. This powerful and diffusive fragrance is one of our best sellers. Our generous 10-ounce hand-poured candle has a 60+ hour burn time and is available in a variety of fragrances. This is the original, signature Seda France candle.
That candle sounds OK as fuck!!!!!!!!!!!! But maybe too fruity.
— But is it OK as fuck but maybe too fruity? Let’s see.
DOES IT HAVE A GOOD SMELL?
I don’t dislike it. Its scent reminds me of two stores that sell it and always burn it: a home goods store on 7th avenue in Park Slope the name of which I forget, and the home goods store Coming Soon in the Lower East Side. It smells like…I don’t know. I’m not great at describing smells, which I probably shouldn’t admit because until this point you probably thought I was amazing at it. It smells sort of like an amplified version of the Diptyque “Baies” candle, if you’ve smelled that one. It smells VERY much. And it’s very sweet smelling. Candied. It’s a scent that you smell and, at first, think, “Oh, that’s pleasant,” but then you smell it more and think, “I’ve had much more than enough.” It doesn’t have the terrible smell of a bad candle, but it does have the reach of a bad candle.
Do you get what it smells like now?
IS IT A SPRING CANDLE?
It is.
HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?
I believe Mike Dang got this candle as a gift, though I’m not sure. I could ask him and pretend I was sure the whole time, but I think you’d agree that this is a more authentic approach. Maybe it was something like…one of his friends got it as a gift, and that friend gave it to him? I don’t remember. But if you don’t receive it as a gift or acquire it another way that I forget, it costs $36.95.
IS IT WORTH $36.95
Ehh, I guess. It’s enormous and it smells a lot. If you like the smell of this candle and your sense of smell is a little damaged, maybe this candle is perfect for you. 🙂
HOW DID THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE OFFICE FEEL ABOUT THE CANDLE?
Megan seemed so-so about it and said that it smelled like a fig candle she couldn’t remember the name of. Mike’s reaction I couldn’t judge, though I think maybe he liked it sort of. Alex disliked it immediately, then he asked me to move it away from him, then he asked me to blow it out. Silvia agreed that she would like the candle to be blown out.
DID THE SCENT LINGER IN THE OFFICE FOR A VERY LONG TIME?
Yes, strongly, for a very long time.
WOULD YOU RECOMMEND THIS CANDLE TO ANOTHER OFFICE?
No, unless you hate everyone in your office.
(Not that it’s a very terrible smell.)
(It’s just a lot.)
(And very sweet smelling.)
(Mostly I like candles that smell like an on-fire church.)
(Not that I want to burn down a church.)
(But not that I wouldn’t.)
(Just kidding.)
(I’m fine.)
WOULD YOU RECOMMEND THIS CANDLE TO A FRIEND:
My friend Leah already had this candle but she dropped it and it shattered. She bought it when we were at Coming Soon together one time, the store that I mentioned — do you remember when I mentioned it? It was just a little earlier in my review. She just bought a chair from that store, too.
SCORE:
- One “I’m Terrible”
- Six checks
- One non-check
Pretty good!