They Could Take Or Leave You

By Kelly Conaboy March 13, 2017

A blizzard is coming.

A blizzard is coming, which I admit is my fault. On February 27, 2017, I wrote a piece titled “I’m Worried We’re Not Going To Get Any More Snow.” Like so many worries, it was unfounded. We are going to get any more snow. They’re saying we’re going to get a foot, maybe, beginning tonight and continuing into Wednesday. Incredible. They’re saying there will be wind gusts on Tuesday up to 70 MPH. Uh-oh. They’re saying it’s going to be the biggest snow of the season. Hell yeah. I’ve put together the answers to some FAQs regarding the storm:

Is this your fault?: I’ve already said yes.
How did you do it?: The power of positive thinking. Plus, I’ve always been lucky. One time I won a guitar signed by Eve 6. (!)
How did you win?: I filled out all of the entry forms at The Wall.
Do you think that’s more “determination” than “luck”?: I would say it’s both.
What kind of guitar was it?: A Squier.
How should I prepare for the storm?: I’m not really an expert.
But if you had to guess?: Make sure you have coffee and tell your crush to come over.
What food should I get?: Peanut butter.
Any other advice?: Burn your winter candles and incense. This could be your last chance, either due to death or spring.