Winter Skincare Tips And Tricks
Tips and tricks for winter skincare.
Winter skin, what a drag. It’s dry, it’s flaky, it’s shitty, it’s dumb, its president is Donald Trump, nazis are back, Betsy DeVos, I have a cold, today I got a parking ticket, and none of it is getting any better.
— Until now.
We at The Hairpin have compiled a few tips and tricks from the experts for how to deal with your drowsy winter dermis. Goodbye bad, hello good. OK, lovely lovies, and here we go.
USE MOISTURIZER
If there are three “M”s in skincare, they are: moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. Maybe you thought I was going to say a different thing for the third one and then “correct” myself as a joke, and so did I, but I couldn’t think of a funny thing, so here we are.
GO TO SLEEP
If there are three “S”s in skincare they are: sleep, sleep, and sex! Ha-ha. That’s not a joke, those are the three.
SNOW
If there’s a fourth “S” in skincare, its snow. Lie down with your face in the snow. Feel the snow on your face and close your eyes so you don’t get any snow in there. Cold and outside and prone, there you are, and don’t you love it.
BED
Lie down with your face in the bed. The bed, not the pillow.
GROUND
Lie down with your face on the ground. If you’re wondering whether or not this is the same drawing as in “BED,” please stop.
FRIDGE
Lie down on top of the fridge with your face on the top of the fridge.
TOBOGGAN
Lie down on top of a toboggan with your face on the top of the toboggan.
ERASE A LITTLE
That’s it…
A LITTLE MORE
Yes, yes…
A LITTLE MORE
Mmhm…
AND NOW SHE’S GONE
