Misters Darcy, Ranked

A Listicle With Some Commentary

Picture Mr. Darcy in your mind’s eye. What do you see? Brown hair? Some eyes? Rich-man ruffle shirts and short pants? Or rather, whom do you see? Colin Firth or Matthew MacFadyen? Well all of this is wrong according to a panel of experts. Apparently he looked more like a regular schmo, with gray hair to boot:

Portrait of ‘real’ Mr Darcy unlikely to set 21st century hearts aflutter

Wait, looked? “Real” Mr. Darcy? Yes, that’s right. We’re arguing over the visual integrity of a real fake literary character. Well in the spirit of such nonsense, why don’t we take a ride back and rank ALL the Misters Darcy we’ve come across through the years. I’m not including spinoffs like “Lizzie Bennet’s Diary” or “Bride and Prejudice” or whatever. I am including the zombie one though because that preview got me for like one second. Do not try to tell me Bridget Jones’s Darcy counts because he does not.

Here are the Darcies, in order from worst to best:

Sam Riley from Pride and Prejudice Zombies (2016)

Laurence Olivier, Pride and Prejudice, 1940

Bow-tie-for-hair Darcy, Alex Balk, 2017

Matthew Rhys, Death Comes to Pemberley, 2013

Not-dancing Darcy, Nicole Dieker, 2017

Billing-statement Darcy, Megan Reynolds, 2017

David Rintoul, Pride and Prejudice, 1980 (BBC Miniseries I)

Napkin Darcy, by Mike Dang, 2017

Guardian Guy, 2017 (honestly the way this guy is drawn, it’s not so bad)

Image: UKTV/Nick Hardcastle/PA

Boy Darcy, Kelly Conaboy, 2017

Matthew MacFadyen, Pride and Prejudice, 2005

Extremely Accurate Darcy, Christine Friar, 2017

Colin Firth, Pride and Prejudice, 1995 (BBC Miniseries II)

Which one would you fuck?