I Suggest A Robe
To feel nice.
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom: wear a robe.
I’d like to get this out of the way immediately — there was talk of a robe somewhat recently in the news. This isn’t that. We’re talking about robes separately here, on our own. Some might wonder if, since that happened so recently, now is the right time to write a thing like this about a robe. I don’t know. Yes?
A robe. It’s soft, it’s big. Or maybe it fits just right and it’s smooth. It’s short, or it’s long. It’s yours, or it’s the hotel’s, or it’s the spa’s, and in the last two scenarios you’re wondering about who wore it before you but you’re trying not to wonder about it too much. It’s nice; it’s a robe.
You might wonder, “Do I need a robe?” The answer is no.
Just kidding. There’s still more. It’s true that you don’t need a robe, though, and instead of a robe you could wear a towel. That’s fine, I guess. But I think you deserve a robe, if it’s in your budget or if you already have one and you just don’t wear it. Take it out of the place where it is; give it a spin.
Picture this: you get out of the shower. You put on lotion, you do whatever, I’m not prying. We all deserve privacy. Then, rather than put on clothing, you put on a robe. Oh my god. It’s a step to ease you back into clothing; it’s an in-between to make the transition less jarring. You keep the robe on for about thirty minutes, doing this and that. Picking out an outfit. Putting on music. Doing your hair. Putting on your makeup, not that you need it, I think you’re naturally beautiful. Wearing a robe.
I understand this is not a new concept but I fear too few of you are doing it.
It’s a nice luxury, to wear a robe. A comforting little moment to have privately.
Also, you know what you can do? Take a shower, put on a robe, and then get into bed for a nap. No clothes on but still a robe, and you’re under covers now, and in bed? Warm from the shower? I’m not trying to be obscene, but it’s nice. Also you can just lie in bed and look at your phone.
You might think that a robe is like an “old person thing” or like “gross” or, I don’t know, “too everyday an item to necessitate a post like this on a website, especially if the post was going to be not that funny.” I don’t know what you’re thinking. I’m not a mind reader and I can’t see what face you’re making and we don’t have any sort of personal history that would allow me to guess how you might be feeling about this subject. But I know what you should be thinking, and that’s: “I feel like a robe might be nice.”
So. Do what you’d like with this information.