Give A Bagel As A Party Favor

Yes?

I had a thought this morning. People hosting parties should give bagels as party favors. Yes?

What do people want the morning after a party: a bagel. OK? So just give me one as a party favor. Yes, it would be silly to suggest that every desire post-party should be met by a party’s host, but I feel like you could give your party attendees at least this one thing: a bagel.

How much does a bagel cost? Not a lot, really; they’re usually under a dollar if you’re buying a dozen or more than a dozen. If you’re buying just one it’s more expensive. If all of your guests have to buy their own bagels that’s good for the bagel shop’s bottom line, sure, but for your guests? And for the workers at the bagel shop who get paid the same whether they sell a large number of bagels to one person or individual bagels to a large number of people, which is more work? It’s something to think about.

Imagine the morning after your party, if your guest already had a bagel. Here’s how it would go. They would wake up, make coffee, toast their bagel, and think about how nice your party was. They would think about how thoughtful you were to supply all of your guests with a bagel for the next morning. They would think about how much they love you, or how much they love your company if it was a corporate event. They would think about how handsome you are, or how beautiful.

Without the bagel? They’re just thinking, “Have to buy a bagel now.”

Damn.

Which would you prefer?

Of course, we haven’t even mentioned the environmental cost of having all of your party guests drive to a bagel store if they don’t live in a city with good public transportation or within walking distance of a bagel store. Global warming, have you heard of it?

Buy everyone a bagel. It’s not a big deal. What’s like, I don’t know how many party guests you’re going to have, but what’s like 30 more dollars on top of what you’re already spending on the party? It’s not a lot. And it’s worth like $500 for how much everyone is going to love it, so you’re saving a lot of money. It’s going to be really good.

Please. Give a bagel as a party favor.