Contact Lens Problems, Ranked

A listicle without commentary.

24. Ghosts can have glasses but I bet they can’t have contacts, so then what

23. Sometimes one hurts a lot and you have to open your eye to take it out but opening your eye hurts

22. Feel dry when you’re sleepy and make you feel extra sleepy

21. “Can I borrow one of your contacts?” not something you can ask

20. “Can you take out my contacts?” not something you can ask

19. If a little bit of something is on there it hurts a lot

18. Can tear in your eyes and then half gets lost

17. Should wash your hands every time you put them in or take them out but you don’t

16. Sometimes you open a new one and it’s already fucked up

15. What happens if you get into a car accident and now you’re in a coma? Do emergency people take them out. How do they know they’re in

14. What happens if you go to jail for just a few nights

13. What if no one remembers to take them out when you die and you’re buried in them

12. Hard to find if dropped

11. “Do you have an extra contact case and solution?” fine question to ask if the other person wears contacts but if they don’t, damn, you’re screwed

10. One time my roommate had a contact cleaning solution that you weren’t supposed to put in your eyes and I used it thinking it was saline solution and it burned a lot

9. It also burned her eyes — she purchased it by accident — and after she used it she went to the hospital. But she was very dramatic

8. Wake up in the morning and can’t see

7. Have to remember to bring extra contacts with you when you travel

6. Sometimes one hurts

5. Can’t take a nap easily

4. Have to put new solution in “every” night

3. Have to pay just to see out of your own eyes

2. Additional problem if kidnapped

1. “Prescription” for contant lenses “expires”