Why Does Everyone Think We Want Bigger Emojis

By Kelly Conaboy September 14, 2016

We don’t!

Apple’s iOS 10, released yesterday, has introduced a number of new iPhone features like iMessage unusability, everything else being fucked up, and a nice handwriting tool. Also emojis are bigger now, which is wrong.

Emojis: little things you can use in case you want to say mad face, think bubble, or spy with magnifying glass. They’re wonderful because they’re cute and small and fun and if you’re in a situation where you don’t know what to say you just say something like:

And then it’s the other person’s turn to say something. In their tiny form, emojis are casual, relaxed, and unimposing. They say, “smile face.” Unfortunately, their tiny form is rapidly disappearing from the places where we use emojis most and it is being replaced with a large, doofy form that is so stupid and I hate it. They say, “SMILE FACE.”

Larger emojis were, I think, first introduced to our lives, unwanted, when they showed up, unwanted, in the work chat app Slack. All of a sudden if you wanted to say something like “:information_desk_person:” you instead said something like “:INFORMATION_DESK_PERSON:.” No. Unnecessary. Not only did the larger image put an unintended emphasis on your emoji remark, but the “bigness” highlighted how dumb the emoji looks. When they’re just little guys they’re cute. When they’re big guys they’re dumb.

Emojis are also bigger on WhatsApp now, allegedly, but I don’t know what that is.

Now, with this terrible new iPhone update, they’re bigger in iMessage, too. What?! Why? Why does everyone think we want bigger emojis? We don’t want bigger emojis. We want little, emoji-sized emojis. They’re better! To prove my point I’m going to say some words I associate with small, normal emojis: