Connan Mockasin, “I’m the Man, That Will Find You”

by Alexandra Molotkow

There have been times when I’ve wondered if I’m asexual. Other times, the idea that I’m asexual makes as much sense as the idea that I’m a moon deity merely dreaming a human life, but I have these downswings where sex just seems like people sliming people, exchanging long protein strands, or a pig mounting another pig. And I hate these downswings, because I’m not asexual.

I was in such a state the first time I heard this song, or no, I should say the first time I saw this video, and I was transfixed. I’d been feeling like all the weirdness and fun and serendipity was gone from my social life generally, and you just can’t stage chemistry, and I felt restless. And though he seemed a little precious and self-sabotaging in moments (that is NOT how you kiss a toe), something about this eerie little white-haired sex goblin gave me hope that I dunno, there were people out there I might want to get to know.