All Your Faves Are Evil

by Alexandra Molotkow

Art Garfunkel is an 8,000-year-old vampire with a surprisingly boring childhood

Keith Richards ate cockroaches to freak out his kids

Pete Seeger axe-murdered a family in Utah before he was famous

The Kinks’ iconic boots were made out of human skin

Billy Joel filled all his maracas with fingernails

Elvis Costello keeps a giant ball of hair stolen from each of his conquests

Paul McCartney dosed school kids with heroin “for a larf”

Phil Collins collects the jerky of endangered animals

Bruce Springsteen named his dog Hey just to fuck with its head

Prince relaxes in a pit of snakes

Elton John is secretly an Ogre