“Alternative” Crushes, Ranked

by Alexandra Molotkow

32. Ira Glass
31. Louis C.K.
30. Garfunkel
29. Velma Dinkley
28. Jaleel White
27. Lizzy Caplan (pre-Masters of Sex)
26. Michael Cera
25. Krist Novoselic
24. Phife Dawg
23. Alyson Hannigan
22. Bailey from WKRP
21. Charlyne Yi
20. Cat Power
19. “Ugly Betty”
18. Chris Kattan
17. Heidi Fleiss
16. Willem Dafoe
15. Bokeem Woodbine
14. Ron Perlman
13. Lydia Lunch
12. Laurence Fishburne
11. Ringo
10. Yoko Ono
9. Yuka Honda
8. Brent Spiner
7. LeVar Burton
6. Steve Buscemi
5. Michael Imperioli
4. Michael Keaton as Beetlejuice
3. Sandra Bernhard
2. Nona Hendryx
1. Jughead