32 Special Feelings, Ranked

by Alexandra Molotkow

32. Speck on mattress is a carpet beetle
31. Stall door reaches the ground
30. Stranger catches you catching them dancing
29. Stranger at strange party knows your best friend
28. Takeout joint high Yelp review
27. Dad saw them live in ‘71
26. Sitting out reunion tour
25. New friend has car
24. Last-minute Halloween costume → future outfit
23. Hearing song your friend always sings
22. Hearing friend’s announcer voice
21. Hollywood star is distant cousin
20. Get to be extra in rap video
19. Small-c celebrity sighting (e.g. Tom Noonan, bonus if carrying takeout)
18. Secret bathroom two floors down
17. Uninterrupted alleyway pee
16. Trusting your driver
15. Lootbags!!!
14. Crawlspace
13. Meeting postponed
12. “Just made out”
11. Sick enough for Netflix
10. “No, it’s good you didn’t go.”
9. Saving sext for later
8. Date knows song you’re excited they’re playing
7. Cool dog chooses you
6. Friend correctly interprets your dream
5. Speck on mattress is a sesame seed
4. Just an ingrown
3. Masterful fingerbang
2. Pizza’s here
1. “You Only Get What You Give”