What’s Happening With My Nails?

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BRACE YOURSELF for some SHOCKING NEWS: as of this writing, I do not have a gel manicure!! It’s ok if you don’t recognize me, I barely recognize myself.

My nails have actually been terrible for a little while; they’ve been cracking and splitting and breaking and it’s just disgusting and I’m so sorry I even have to share this with you. I think it’s because of all the heavy lifting I’ve been doing in the move. I broke one nail dragging my biggest suitcase out of my closet, another trying to use my new keys on a particular stubborn door. This morning I went out and bought some prenatal vitamins, speaking of moms, because my friend with the most beautiful hair and nails in the world recommended that to me once, and I was like sure, let’s throw a little folic acid inside this flesh prison. The cashier at Duane Reade was like “why don’t you just take Biotin?” and I told her my friend had said prenatal vitamins were better but I didn’t know why and she was like “well, at least you’ll have an easier time getting pregnant and have great hair and nails!” and I laughed but became immediately so paranoid that prenatal vitamins cause spontaneous pregnancies, but that’s not how they work, right?!? Oh god I need to call a doctor.

ANYWAY. My point I’ve just been trying to chill w/r/t my nails for the time being, but I still hate the look of bare nails, so I’ve been giving this Dior Nail Glow thing a try. The conceit is that the product gives an “instant French manicure effect,” making the pinks of your nails pinker and the whites whiter. I kind of think it just makes my nails look like they belong to an alien; aren’t they too pink? Not hating, necessarily, just saying.

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I suppose I could just put NOTHING on my nails if I REALLY wanted them to be healthier but like. Why.

What’s happening with your nails lately? Are they healthy? Do you want to go get a manicure this weekend? Do prenatal vitamins help you get pregnant? Aren’t they just for after you get pregnant? Please leave your answers in the comments.