Neurotica: The Bookstore

by Sonia Weiser

“I’ve always wanted to have sex in a public place,” I said, grinning mischievously.

“Oh yeah?”

He looked around the stacks of books around us and brushed his hand against my cheek.

“Does here work?” he asked.

“Wait,” I said. “It does, but I noticed that some of the books are out of order. See,” I pointed to the row two down from eye level. “Why is this book by Emerson with the Ws? The correct citation is Emerson comma Ralph Waldo, not Waldo Emerson comma Ralph.”

He held his finger to his lips, quietly shushing me in a way that could have been patronizing or sexy. There’s a fine line between the two. Maybe they’re the same sometimes?

But he’s so pretty…

“You’re right,” he said. “They didn’t file that book in the right place. But we can easily fix that.”

He picked the book off the shelf and swooped me into his arms. He began kissing my ear and licking it lightly. I mentally congratulated myself for washing behind my ears that morning which I only did because I was killing time but had finished shaving my legs and didn’t have the physical or mental stamina to start on my winter’s worth of pubic hair.

He carried me past the Ws through the Fs until we reached the Es, all the while seductively whispering the opening stanzas of The Jabberwocky. His hot breath pulsated against my eardrums.

“Why did you pick The Jabberwocky?” I asked, suddenly becoming nervous that like the poem, our relationship meant nothing.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “It’s my favorite poem. And you’re my favorite person. It’s only fitting.”

I sighed, relieved.

He planted me firmly in front of Emerson’s other works and slid Emerson: Selected Journals, 1820–1842 back where it belonged.

“There,” he said. “All better.”

He pushed me against the book stack and kissed me, tenderly at first then with greater intensity. “Should we check this aisle for alphabetizing errors?” he asked. Without waiting for an answer, he ran to the end of the rack and began scanning each row with enthusiastic thoroughness. I imagined him bringing that same level of determination to sex and the thought made my body radiate like a powerful space heater. When was the Con-Ed bill due? I have to set up automatic deposit.

He walked back and forth until he had studied the entirety of the Ds and Es. “That’s it,” he said after finishing the second side of the aisle. “Everything’s in order. I also made sure the spines were facing out and the covers were right side up.” He took a deep shuddering breath, one full of excitement. “I hate when the pages are facing out and you can’t see the book title.”

I let out a slight moan, one just audible for his ears alone.

“Do you want to take the next row and I’ll take the one after that?” he asked.

I shook my head no.

“We don’t need to,” I said. “We have all the time in the world.”

I pulled him into a tight embrace and felt his leather messenger bag brush against my side.

“Is this like your fantasy?” he asked.

I didn’t say anything. I began unbuttoning his shirt, slowly at first, relishing in each inch of his exposed skin. He lifted me as I wrapped my legs around his waist. We kissed passionately, our energy almost painful.

“Wait,” I said. “Do you hear something?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he whispered in between kisses. “Doesn’t having people around make it more exciting?”

I kissed him furiously.

He was right. The fire inside me burned even greater with the knowledge that at any moment we could be discovered. But what if it were someone I knew? I should have picked a different bookstore. One that wasn’t in my neighborhood. My kisses slowed as I suddenly lost whatever it was that propelled me into acting.

“I think they saw us,” I said. “Let’s get out of here before they tell someone.”

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I hired them. They’re here to make it more interesting.”

I dropped my legs back down to the floor, disappointed that someone who I thought knew me so well could have made such a critical mistake.

“No one saw,” he said. I looked up at him sadly.

“I made sure they were blind.”

Sonia Weiser is a writer and functioning adult living in New York City. You can follow her on Twitter @weischoice or read more of her stuff here.