A List Of Cockblocks

by Marian Bull and Hallie Bateman

A dog

A dirty rug

Steve

California

The cost of plane tickets these days

A very cold room

One of us being unconscious, or nearly so

Deadlines

A binge you’re already in the middle of

The glitter in my bed

Endless despair

Your emotional unavailability

My social anxiety

The fact that you are playing candy crush on the subway with your headphones in and we don’t even know each other and likely won’t get off at the same stop

Your wife and three beautiful children

Marian Bull is a writer and editor who lives in Brooklyn. You can follow her on Twitter. Her bed is finally glitter-free.

Hallie Bateman is a freelance illustrator in Brooklyn and her twitter is @hallithbates.