What is the Very Last Thing a Woman Wants to See in Bed?

A disembodied horse head

A Juggalo

The following Pokémon: Psyduck, Jigglypuff, Wigglypuff, Snorlax, Charmander (Charizard ok)

A book called “The Best Practical Jokes to Play While She’s Asleep”

Three kids in a trench coat

Pizza the Hutt (the Jabba the Hutt parody from Spaceballs)

A cursed amulet

Anything cursed, really

An improv troupe

A portal to another world that seems idyllic at first but is actually quite sinister

What the article was actually about:
These sex dolls.