Millennial Medical Questions to Text My Mother

My stomach hurts??? All I’ve eaten today is 27 cookies. Didn’t exercise much except for hitting “next episode.” Don’t want to barf and miss a moment of House of Cards, so please respond soon

If my vomit is blue but I haven’t EATEN ANYTHING blue is that ok??

My eyeballs taste weird?????? Weirder than yesterday, at least

Could I get pregnant if I sit naked on the couch where I found my roommate having sex??? Just say yes so I can show the text to her, gonna delete this and resend you this text in 5

What’s a food with iron in it?

What’s a good food with iron in it?

Can a candy with 100% fruit juice count as a fruit intake if I just suck all the juice out?

Howq cAn I prevent hangover alreadyy took 10 shotz love u

How sick would I get if I ate this dog biscuit? There’s 10 bucks on the line

Can hummus ever really EXPIRE though? It was still brown!

Med q 4 u! Cnt txt, hand cramp frm 2 mny selfies. Call me bck