13 Witch Life Hacks for Friday the 13th

by SulagnaMisra

Use these witch life hacks to keep your Friday the Thirteenth from becoming Friday the Blergteenth!

1. Before taking fashion risks, eat red meat rare and howl at the moon the day before.

2. To predict whether or not you’ll make your appointment, cuddle a cat and see how it reacts. If it squirms, you’ll be late. If it purrs, you’re good.

3. When faced with a difficult decision, rip up a tissue and throw the scraps high in the air. The time they take to fall to the ground is the time you have to complete your decision.

4. To ensure your plane arrives or leaves on time, buy a drink when you get to the airport. Seltzer or cocktail, it makes no difference, as long as it comes in a cold glass. Take a napkin and rip it into five strips and arrange it around your drink like a pentagon. Whisper your arrival time into your drink, toast whomever sold you the beverage, and take a sip.

5. For shopping success, bow slightly to every mannequin to ensure your clothes look as nice at home as they do in the store.

6. To ensure 100% book satisfaction, hold books close to your ears to see if they make any noise. Read only the ones that do.

7. If stuck in a waiting room, open a magazine to seven random pages and blindly point around each page for seven random words. This is your command to follow for the day.

8. For dinner parties, avoid mirrors on days you have a friends over, and they will help clean up after.

9. To get her back for what she said last time, think bad thoughts every time you smile at your frenemy to leave her slightly discomfited without knowing why.

10. Write a list of reasons why you and your partner should get a pet, then paint white over it and use the paper to make their birthday card.

11. Place your warm coffee cup against your forehead and think of volcanoes so that it stays nice and warm the whole time you drink.

12. Whisper good things about yourself over each ingredient as you bake a cake for your boss to ensure that promotion.

13. On Friday the 13th, print out this list and reread on days of strife. Every numbered item will change except this one.

Sulagna Misra is writer living on the Internet who likes to stare into space. You can follow her here or here.