What I Learned From Following a Different Dating Guide Every Month

By The Hairpin February 17, 2015

by Melissa Pimentel

A few years ago, frustrated by my inability to meet a normal, non-psychopathic man with whom to have regular sex, I decided to turn my love life into a sociological experiment. Every month, I followed a different dating guide and recorded the effect it had on my test subjects (i.e., guys I was dating). The experiment, which started as a blog and became the basis for my first novel, was enlightening and distressing in equal measures. Here’s what I learned during my time as a low-rent Margaret Meade:

1. Following The Rules is basically like getting into a time machine and traveling back to the 1950s, but without the easy access to Valium. No eye contact, phone calls, loud voices, or strong opinions allowed for ladies, thanks. It works on exactly the kind of guy you’d expect: douchebags.

2. A diet of canned pineapple and cottage cheese is not conducive to an active sex life. Or even a dormant one. Most of the other advice in Sex and the Single Girl, a 1960s guide for swinging gals-about-town, was surprisingly sound, but it was nutritionally suspect.

3. If you’re looking to get laid, look no further than The Flappers. The bestselling guide of the 1920s encouraged women to have several lovers at once and to flirt with everyone, always. The best piece of advice? “Let your relations with men leave memories of seething fury and hatred rather than embarrassment.” YES.