Tips For Treating Your Skin in The Wintertime

Winter is a magical time of year. Who doesn’t love winter? Curling up under a handknit afghan blanket by a roaring fire with your sweetie pie, the smell of pine and peppermint in the air, the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas playing on your expertly set up sound system, a gentle snow falling outside acting as a clean white blanket to Mother Nature, covering up suspicious footprints and DNA and those mysterious bloodstains. You are next spring’s problem, incriminating evidence! But all that cold, dry, drying winter air is not good for your skin. I’m no scientist or dermatologist or beauty expert. But I’m obsessed with skin. Touching it, stroking it, caressing it, smelling it. Poking it. Did I say touching it? Skin. Skin. Here’s what works for me.

Moisturize. JFC do you need me to tell you to do this? Literally every skin care guide since the beginning of time talks about the power of moisturizing. If you aren’t already doing this, you might as well hand in your skin and badge right now. Look, here’s a handy rhyme somebody better at this than me came up with:

“It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”

Which reminds me: Staying hydrated is also important. That being said:

Keep skin stored in a cool, dry place. And out of direct sunlight. People think that the sun is less damaging in the winter just because it’s out less. Those people are dummies! To keep your skin looking its most Buffalo Brilliant, go for an opaque storage container. Tupperware makes some good ones. Tupperware is also really good at storing leftover food, but don’t put your food and skin in the same box, unless you want to deal with the curry stains.

Don’t Stress. I know, I know, you’re all, “But I need to get my skin suit ready in time to see my extended family over the holidays!!!” Remember: most skin suits that you see in photographs are actually the result of three or four different skins expertly assembled in a way that’s really hard to mimic at home. Also, lighting. It all comes down to lighting.