Six Signs You’re Truly Comfortable In Your Relationship

1. [yelling, from the bathroom.]

“Hey babe! Can you come here?”

“I just put toilet paper in there this morning. Did you drop it in the toilet?”

“No. Come here. Look at this poop. My shit is… it’s, like, blue. Babe, my shit is blue. Come look at this. Bring your phone.”

2. “You look different. Are you not wearing makeup?”

“No, I’m not wearing skin. I am sick of adhering to skin-filled beauty standards. Pass the chips.”

3. “How was that crazy sex dream you had with that girl you saw in the coffee shop yesterday having sex with you on an airplane bound for France?”

“You know, I really hate when you read my mind without asking.”

“Is that what you want? Should I buy tickets to France?”

4. “I’m so glad I got injured in that ice-skating accident and I can no longer go to the bathroom without assistan — no, no, I need a super tampon. That’s the green one.”

5. “Have you ever heard that urban legend about a couple who had to pee so bad at the same time and there was only one toilet so the girl sat on the toilet with her legs open and the dude just aimed his pee in between her legs?”

“No.”

“Do you think anybody knows that’s us?”

6. * feeds the other like a mama bird does to a baby *