Occupational Hazards: Frontman Edition

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Diagnosis: Constant Complaining

Symptoms: Self-pity, self-absorption

Analysis: Complaining is, and will always be, more fun than being thankful. As humans are inherently selfish (see David Foster Wallace’s This Is Water), it is nearly impossible to see things from any other perspective than my own small-minded and egomaniacal tunnel.

Best Guess: Try to listen to your wife, your mother, and your friends, and stop complaining so much.

Hamilton Leithauser, lead singer of the Walkmen, chronicles his illnesses and self diagnoses over the years (“Fender Twin amplifier emits same frequencies as a .50-caliber WWII anti-aircraft gun”), leaving us with an entirely new subset of WebMD symptoms to consider. [The Talkhouse]