How to Pretend You’re Not Actually at Work Today

Step 1: Open Modern Farmer’s Farm Dog Cam (this week is Dog Week; counterpoint: every week is Dog Week).

Step 2: Decide which sheep or dog you would like to be (the herder? the herded? the one like PLEASE, IT’S EARLY and lying down?).

Step 3: Look down at your hooves (or paws). Wow, you look cool. Today is cool. The mountains are blue and they curve like larger versions of you when you’re napping. The sun feels great; everything smells like clover; you’ll find your friends in the next pasture and today is going to be a great day.