Alternative Anne Geddes Babies

by Gabriella Paiella

Taco Baby
Nestle your baby in a taco shell, then drizzle him or her with shredded cheese, sour cream, salsa, and a light chopped lettuce garnish. (Note: If you only have soft tortillas on hand, feel free to try out Burrito Baby. Supplement with rice, but don’t let your baby eat any. He really doesn’t need the extra carbs.)

Your Baby Peeking Out of a Mason Jar
Pinterest is going to fucking implode.

Vodka Watermelon Baby
We’ve all seen the standard photo of a baby sleeping peacefully in a watermelon1. Bo-ring! Plug a bottle of vodka in that watermelon — bonus points if you put a vodka nip in each of your baby’s tiny hands.

The Disney Princesses Reimagined as Your Baby
Who gives a shit if the Disney princesses uphold racial stereotypes and present a regressive message to highly impressionable young girls?

Mother and Child
A beautiful black and white portrait of you and your baby cuddling, both sobbing heavily.

Bread Bowl Baby
Important: DO NOT ADD HOT SOUP

Your Baby Dressed as Terry Richardson
What’s wrong with you?

Stolen Soul Baby
Pretend your baby has a deep-seeded fear of getting his or her soul stolen when they’re photographed and never take another picture of him or her again.

Previously: Haikus Based on Nancy Grace Hashtags

Photo via sshb/flickr.

Gabriella Paiella writes (and tweets) from Brooklyn. Yes, her name rhymes.