Other Basic Bitches

by Maureen O’Connor

“The concept of a ‘basic bitch’ is one that’s been spilling a lot of online ink lately.”

Basic bitch, a female dog soaked in ammonia.

BASIC bitch, your GOTO girl for code.

Bayseian bitch, one may infer.

<basic>bitch</basic>

Base^bitch

BASE bitch, a female dog unafraid of heights.

Bas bitch, carved in relief on an ancient Roman tomb.

Basalt bitch, an extrusive igneous whore-faced cunt.

Basso bitch, a female opera singer with a startlingly low voice.

Basso-baritono bitch, slightly less startling but still pretty low for a chick.

Bastinado bitch, these heels are killing my feet!

Bassoon bitch. [nudge] Flutter-tongue. [wink]

Bastard bitch, a jerk of two genders.

Bastard bitch, a female pup whose daddy done run away.

First-base bitch, also known as the “sacker” or “cornerman.”

First-base bitch, only likes to kiss.

Second-base bitch, must pivot to make a double play.

Second-base bitch, horny but forgot to groom her pubes.

Third-base bitch, closest infielder to the batter.

Third-base bitch, too lazy find the condom at the bottom of her purse.

Basque bitch, forming a separate movement.

Basque-radical bitch, tossing Mochachino Molotov cocktails through your window at night.

Basil bitch, tasty with tomatoes.

Basilisk bitch, venom in your marinara.

Bastille bitch, sharpening her guillotine.

Basebitch

Bitchbitch

Photo via Nina Matthews/flickr.

Maureen O’Connor is an acidic bitch.