What My Mom Wishes I Was Blogging About

My Mom: Hi! I have some ideas about what you should blog about!

Me: Oh god.

My Mom: If I were you I’d talk about Juan Pablo and how he’s a jerk. Try to do something like this. [sends a Bachelor recap from USA Today] [another USA Today link] [then more USA Today links] Also, why do you like Matthew McConaughey? I don’t see it.

Me: He’s like our generation’s Robert Redford… Or Gabe Kaplan I guess? Or whoever you were into in the ’70s. What’s with all the USA Today links??

My Mom: Trust me, Hairpin readers love USA Today! I’ve seen you read it too!

Me: Was I also eating a Continental breakfast at a La Quinta by the airport at the same time?

My Mom: Anyway, I have another idea! You should blog about that show that takes place in New York and is all about your generation that everyone talks about!!!!

Me: Girls?

My Mom: No! Mixology of course!

Me: ??

My Mom: It’s so good. Also you need to talk about Drop Dead Diva on Lifetime. I tweet with the Executive Producer of Drop Dead Diva, so I can put you in touch for an interview!!!!

Me: WHAT?! OH GOD NONONONO. Can you please use your maiden name for weird things you do on the internet??

My Mom: Of course not! More TV shows people are interested in: Lucky 7, Sign, Sealed Delivered, Shark Tank, and The Goldbergs!

Me: Ok, I’ll think about it! I gotta go!

My Mom: Wait, really quick! One more thing…[then a 40 minute long story about rotisserie chicken…]