The One Variable Uniting All Women Is Witchhood

1. YOU ARE FEMALE. Are you a woman of any kind? If so, you are probably one of the devil’s many hellbrides. Since the medieval period, “an aspect of the female has been associated with the witch.” For thousands of years, people have believed women to be more susceptible to sins than men, and sinning is a clear indication of devil worship.

-16 more convincing signposts of Salem-era witchcraft over at Mental Floss, including “You are Poor/Cannot Support Yourself Financially” as well as “You Are Rich/Financially Independent.”