Here Is Lorde’s Birth Certificate

How old is the New Zealand singer Lorde, certain particularly obnoxious Internet circles have been wondering over the last few months. (Not without cause: “[The Virgin Suicides] really resonated with me as a teenager,” the singer told Rookie’s Tavi Gevinson recently. “I mean,” she continued, “I am still a teenager.”)

The fine country of New Zealand, for $17.02, has provided us with what they say is a copy of Lorde’s birth certificate. Lorde’s full name: Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O’Connor. Lorde’s DOB: 7 November 1996. Lorde, two-time Grammy winner, is 17 years old. The above documentation effectively shuts down any lingering doubts in regards to Lorde’s real age, a question that had emerged more actively in recent weeks.

At last, Lorde age truthers, the rumors can be put to rest: Lorde is not old, she is just more talented and successful than you were at 16 or perhaps than you ever will be, really. (She’s also quite funny about it.) Lorde is not old, she is just precocious as hell.