Vatican Offers Reduced Purgatory Sentencing for a Pope Francis Follow

At the Guardian, we receive news that the Pope is offering good old medieval indulgences in exchange for Twitter engagement:

Indulgences these days are granted to those who carry out certain tasks — such as climbing the Sacred Steps, in Rome (reportedly brought from Pontius Pilate’s house after Jesus scaled them before his crucifixion), a feat that earns believers seven years off purgatory. But attendance at events such as the Catholic World Youth Day, in Rio de Janeiro, a week-long event starting on 22 July, can also win an indulgence[…] The Vatican’s sacred apostolic penitentiary has also extended the privilege to those following the “rites and pious exercises” of the event on television, radio and through social media.

The Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera quotes Claudio Maria Celli, “president of the pontifical council for social communications,” as saying, “Get it out of your heads straight away that this is in any way mechanical, that you just need to click on the internet in a few days’ time to get a plenary indulgence. I’ll explain everything. Just be patient.” While we’re waiting, feel free to ready your other platforms:

Apart from the papal Twitter account, the Vatican has launched an online news portal supported by an app, a Facebook page, and it plans to use the online social networking site Pinterest. “What really counts is that the tweets the Pope sends from Brazil or the photos of the Catholic World Youth Day that go up on Pinterest produce authentic spiritual fruit in the hearts of everyone,” said Celli.

We’ve come a long way, baby.