Let This Champagne Bottle Explain How 75% of Men Come Within 3 Minutes

Just when you think a subject (the difference between “porn sex” and “real sex”) has been run into the ground by a stampede of good intentions, you watch an airy three-minute video of fruits and vegetables and a crisp, soothing British voice explaining statistics that make you go WHAT? omg WHATTT, and you realize you don’t know anything, and that life is a forest of the strange and unknowable. Mostly SFW, except for this one part where a banana emerges from a jar of chocolate with a truly alarming close-up on the choco texture.