The Secret to Health Is Sleeping Through Everything

Think you do just fine on five or six hours of shut-eye? Chances are, you are among the many millions who unwittingly shortchange themselves on sleep.

Here is one of those internet stories that you start reading, with genuine curiosity, hoping to learn more about your own sleeping issues and how you can be a better, healthier person from here on out. “I am among the many millions who unwittingly shortchange themselves on sleep!” you think, brightly. “This is just the thing for me.” And then, right off the bat, it gets bleak:

Failing to get enough sleep night after night can compromise your health and may even shorten your life.

and suddenly bleaker:

Several studies have linked insufficient sleep to weight gain.

…and bleaker:

In addition, metabolism slows when one’s circadian rhythm and sleep are disrupted

yep, bleaker:

The body’s ability to process glucose is also adversely affected

bleaker, still:

The risks of cardiovascular diseases and stroke are higher

and somehow even bleaker:

The risk of cancer may also be elevated in people who fail to get enough sleep.

And then, suddenly, the article is over, and all you have really been reminded of is that you have a new thing to keep you awake at night. Happy Monday. I’m going to go drink more water.