Proposed Cover Letters For Marina Abramovic’s Summer Intern

The office of artist Marina Abramovic is excited to announce our summer internship position.

• Obtain coarse rope, secure it to her Soho loft’s northernmost window. Climb. Draw a star on the pane with your bleeding hands. Wait until she notices. Beg for her forgiveness and a job.

• Mail an LCD picture frame showing Buster inhaling Lucille Bluth’s cigarette smoke and then running to the door to exhale outside, on loop. Do not include a note.

• “Dear Marina, in addition to being familiar with Microsoft Office suite, and various social media platforms, I also happen to have the same blood type as you, which could be very convenient if you ever happened to need a transfusion.”

• Save your nail clippings for 83 days. Mail them in an envelope with a single match.

• Send coordinates to a spot in the middle of the Black Sea, along with a time and date. Go there in a rowboat. She’ll come.

• Just be yourself!

• “Dear Marina, Here is one of many ideas I have for collaboration as your intern: I clean your office with a tooth brush, naked, and you film me, berating me the whole time. It will serve as illuminating commentary on the division of tasks and the state of the modern office environment. We will then sacrifice a pig, to heighten the sense of how far out of touch we are from a primal state. Thank you for consideration. I know PhotoShop.”

• “Hello, this is Jemima Kirke.”

• Tattoo a scale image of yourself on yourself. Do not cry. Do not bleed. Lie naked and in wait at Marina’s summer home.

Photo via braubach/flickr. Thanks, M/K/C.