In Praise of Donuts: A (Slightly) Modified Sonnet

People, Happy National Donut Day!

When our pride in pastries goes on display.

Which is my favorite? Never choose one!

There are dozens, it’s a big conundrum.

Glazed are classic and very delicious.

Boston Creme gleefully unnutritious.

Cruellers, overlooked and underrated.

The greatness of chocolate goes undebated.

But let us praise unnatural colors!

Covered in pink, those I love most.

Sprinkles are Western Civ’s best invention.

Just the coconut one deserves detention,

White and so messy, bland as masking tape.

I eat them all! I’ll die at 48!

I wish the hole part was donut-filled, too.

I’d quit my job, go completely kablew.

Donuts, my heart belongs only to you!

Because now it is filled with tasty goo!

Previously: What the Hell Should You Do With Your Life?

Jim Behrle tweets @behrle.