Order in the Fabulous Girl Who Does Whatever She Wants

“Courts are increasingly turning to Urban Dictionary to clarify modern slang language.”

Lawyer Following New Trend: Your Honor, the defendant sent a text message indicating he was in possession of “molly,” which Urban Dictionary defines as a “pure form of MDMA (ecstasy), usually a free powder or in capsules.”

Enemy Lawyer: Objection! Urban Dictionary also defines molly as a “girl who is completely tired of being treated like shit,” as in “Damn that girl done pulled a Molly and told that jack ass off. good for her.” Furthermore, the definitions of my client’s name indicate he’s “basicilly a kid with a huge dick” who “performs great intercourse on a female” and “has an amazing sense of style with wicked hair to accompany it.”

LFNT: (stunned, shuffling papers sweatily) In light of this new information, the prosecution withdraws its case.