Get This Look: Board Games

By The Hairpin May 14, 2013

by Rebecca Jane Stokes

1. The Game of Life

So let’s talk about stuff that’s more interesting than I’d previously imagined — like the Game of Life. Dude, this thing is old as balls! It was invented in 1860 and originally called “The Checkered Game of Life,” presumably while a lute played and wigs were powdered in readiness. In the game, one theoretically passes through all the ages of man, what with being born, going to school, getting married, having kids, et cetera. The modern version is known for its spinning wheel, the tiny cars, and the little people. It’s actually kind of depressing, because it literally only takes 45 minutes to play, is ruled by randomness, and ends with the winner standing on a beach gazing out at the water feeling very small. The loser is also there.

Get This Look:

The Game of Life, featuring a silk jumpsuit

Acne silk jumpsuit
$650 — jades24.com

Vintage 80s Retro Kitsch Silvertone Silver by ThePaisleyUnicorn
etsy.com

***

2. Monopoly

As any good economics nerd can tell you, a monopoly occurs when a market becomes dominated by one company slash entity. Sometimes I rant about Amtrak having a train monopoly, but this is inaccurate and only proves my ignorance. If we’re talking about the board game, Monopoly actually means someone is going to embezzle if made the banker, someone is going to get pissed at how many times they’ve been sent to jail, and someone is going to get bored and go play Final Fantasy. I say, be the bigger person and become a benign if unsympathetic landlord. Do it for feminism, since this game as we know it today is a direct result of Lizzie Phillips’ 1903 game, The Landlord’s Game. If that isn’t incentive, please be aware that during World War II, British Intelligence used the games as covers for maps and shit that they sent to POWs being held by the Nazis courtesy of fake charity organizations! Basically if you hate Monopoly you are Hitler is what I am saying.

Get This Look:

Monopoly, featuring a steel necklace

Moschino Cheap Chic jumpsuits and romper
$625 — theoutnet.com

ASOS steel necklace
asos.com

Pleaser MOTIF-701MO Money Print Platform Slide — Pleaser Womens Shoes,…
shoeluxe.com

***

3. Chess

The object of chess is to checkmate your opponent’s king. The origins of this two-person strategic game played upon a checkered board are ancient. If you ever decide that you want to feel what it’s like to be so bored that you have died, maybe Google “chess history.” Did you know the chess originated in Ancient Afghanistan? I like to think that the game was invented by Merlin to teach a young Arthur the rules of mind over matter when it came to battling with one’s enemies. That said, if you ever want to read something by Benjamin Franklin, maybe go read “The Morals of Chess,” because it’s kind of great!

Get This Look: