Bless Us, Every One

Guys! Marriage equality is here, just in time to get into fights about things that someone will always manage to be offended by:

Dear Civil Behavior: I’ve been helping my daughter plan her wedding to her girlfriend and everything’s been going fine — until now. We’re about to address the invitations. The calligrapher is lined up and time is getting a bit short. Here’s the problem. My daughter insists on addressing the women with what I’d call a feminist version of their names. In other words, instead of writing “Mr. and Mrs. Richard Garcia” she wants to write: “Ms. Jane Garcia and Mr. Richard Garcia,” calling out the identity of the woman separately from her husband. I’ve explained that this is incorrect etiquette and that my friends will be confused if not offended. But she won’t listen to me. Do lesbians and gays have different rules for this sort of thing?

— New York Mother-in-Law-to-Be

Do whatever you want! This is wonderful. I am genuinely happy you are having this weird, calligraphy-involving fight right now. Film it and put it on YouTube. I want the mom to be played by Phylicia Rashad, and the daughter to be played by Zoe Saldana, and the future wife to be played by a distracted and texting Reese Witherspoon. Also, I did not know anyone was still doing the Mr. and Mrs. Peter Dinklage thing on invitations anymore, but you two can sort that out amongst yourselves.