Shop Talk

by A Lady

Can we talk about vibrators again? It’s time, right? There must be a half-life on women’s websites for when certain topics can come up after the last time they came up? Maybe? Oh my god, the internet. I’m going to throw my computer away. But first I’m going to use my vibrator a bit. And then again. And again. Anyway, what do you use?

I use JimmyJane vibrators. Plural! But not because I’m any kind of expert, and I know other people aren’t always the hugest fans, but I have one that’s pretty good (and expensive), and then I got this little pocket/travel sized one, somewhat accidentally, that I thought would be kind of nonsense and hilarious (it looks like an OB tampon), but I unexpectedly like it even better. Actually I worship it and am afraid to talk about it more. That’s my whole answer.

Well, whatever, I’ll expand. The very first thing I bought with my very first credit card ($100 limit! freshman year, college!) was a vibrator. I bought it from … hmmm I want to say Babeland, but I actually don’t remember. It was the cheapest one they had — I think $8 — because I had no idea what to look for. I also didn’t really know how to use it. So it was this purple tube that went “VVVVVVVVVVVVV,” and I didn’t know if I was supposed to insert it (!), which felt weird and cold, or what, and it was just really … flashlight-y, and it wasn’t hot at all. [YEARS PASS.] Then I get the first JimmyJane one through a fortuitous circumstance, ditto the second one, and now my life is glorious and joyful. Especially my mornings! What about you guys? What’s good and cheapish? What’s worth spending more money on?

Oh, and I also have a glass dildo (is there a more horrifying combination of words?) that I thought would be fun to pair with the vibrator, but I have not yet had a totally tremendous experience with it. Does anyone have recommendations for that two-birds-with-one-vibrator goal? This post is not sponsored by JimmyJane, by the way, or anyone, other than the collective human libido. Did people harness vibration, sexually, before electronics existed? If ancient ghosts are in the crowd, please speak up. Anyway, The Wirecutter dealt with this exact topic somewhat recently. Apologies if this was too short a half-life.