If You Had to Guess

by Wilma P.

If you had to guess which one of the guys you slept with wrote sex reviews on prostitute Yelp, which one would you guess?

If you had to guess whether the person you’ve been hanging out with for a while carves his own sporks and then uses those sporks to the exclusion of all other utensils, what would you guess?

If you had to guess how many guys you will do who totally start picking their nose and eating it after the first time you have sex, how many would you say?

If you had to guess whether you’re with someone who used to have those big earrings and then the took them out and the hole mostly closed up, but they like to have girls stretch it out and put multiple fingers in it as a sexy thing, would you guess yes or no?

If you had to guess whether “Jews love gold!” is something anyone will ever say to you while you are naked, like you HAD to guess, you can’t say I don’t know, what would you say?

Wilma P. is doing great.