Pickup Lines If Sitting Is the New Smoking

“Sitting Is the Smoking of Our Generation”
 — Harvard Business Review

“Hi. Can I sit there for a sec?”

“Here, let me.” [Puts out an arm, helps attractive stranger down onto seat.]

“I know I shouldn’t, but I just feel like, ‘ahh’ “ — [pantomimes general craziness] — “and longevity isn’t the same as quality of life, you know?” [Sits for hours.]

[Places a hand over the seat of a chair someone’s about to sit on, looks at them expectantly.] “May I?” [If person nods, quickly sweeps off lint or whatever’s there.]

“Want to go out back and sit down?”

[Sits down and sinks erotically into chair, making flirtatious eye contact.]

“Here” — [takes package from purse or breast pocket and unfolds tripod stool] — “we can share it.”