Get Over Yourself, Europe

Oh, whatever, Europe. You can’t fit more than two pairs of socks and a jumper, whatever THAT is, into one of your washing machines, and your hotel rooms all come spring-loaded and ready to collapse on you. You’re not so special. Also, did you SEE the Nobel Peace Prize announcement? Looked to me like a lot of old guys with hot accents and surprisingly thick white hair voted to give themselves an award for being soooooooooo great. For shame, Thorbjorn* Jagland!

*Seriously? Your name is Thor plus Bjorn? Grow up! Your name is Ted now.