Proposed Masque Flavors for the Upscale Market

Masque, a name which must have undergone a certain amount of successful focus group testing, somehow, with actual people sitting in chairs and filling out comment cards, is currently available in mango (new!), chocolate, watermelon, and strawberry. But at ten bucks for a three-pack, it’s time to get real, because this market share isn’t getting their pearls in a twist over Neapolitan.

Tanqueray and Artisanal Tonic: Let the tongue-buzz of near-clinical levels of quinine do the talking for you: you’re rich, you’re an Anglophile, and you’re better with a squeeze of lime juice.

Manchego and Quince Paste: For when you want to recreate the intimate dinner party experience, minus the magnetic cheese board and spreaders. So authentic, your partner will ask: “are we putting coats on the bed, or is there enough room in the hall closet?”

Dark Chocolate Macadamia Nut: Yeah, you’ve been to Hawaii. Or, at least, your great-aunt has, and her superior Delta Medallion status let her check an extra bag, just for you.

Your turn!