Oh, Snap! (Crackle, Crunch, Fizz)

Pete Wells is not pleased with the new tasting menu at Eleven Madison Park, which is still totally the best really, really expensive restaurant in New York, but now they apparently yap at you while they drain your wallet? Let’s examine the best burns!

1. “By the end of the four hours, I felt as if I’d gone to a Seder hosted by Presbyterians.”

2. “When you are thinking about a fat layer of cream cheese sitting on an everything bagel at the corner of Amsterdam and 86th Street, how good can you feel about eating poppy and sesame seeds lightly dusted over a head of romaine the size of a wine cork?”

3. “Sense memories are most effective when you’re allowed to discover them yourself. If Proust had been served his madeleine at Eleven Madison Park, food writing would have been deprived of its favorite metaphor.”

4. “When I was disgorged to the sidewalk at 5 p.m., dinner was unthinkable, and I ate nothing else before collapsing into sleep later that night. At least I was able to amortize the $195 over two meals.”

5. “At the moment, its fusion with the old grid menu feels transitional, like a tadpole with legs and a tail.”