Famous People I Thought I Saw on the Street, But It Wasn’t Them at All

By The Hairpin September 11, 2012

by Krissy Howard

1. Michael Keaton, entering a 25 cent public restroom as I was leaving: My dog and I were leaving a 25 cent public restroom outside of Madison Square Park, and the guy waiting to come in said, “Hey! Dog!” as we were leaving. As I walked away I was like, “I think that was Michael Keaton.” Something about it was just very Mr. Mom. I thought about it for about four more days and came to the conclusion that it probably wasn’t him.

2. Richard Gere, walking a large black Poodle: I don’t think it was him, as he was wearing a Bluetooth.

3. Timothy Hutton, walking down the street with a bag of groceries: Guy with sideburns.

4. Guy Fieri, outside of the Empire State Building: Some tourist outside the Empire State Building.

5. Yoko Ono, leaving a bodega on 2nd Avenue: Small lady with sunglasses and CRAZY amazing hat!

6. That guy who played The Commish on that show The Commish: I don’t really think I saw this guy at all, as I thought I saw him three times in one day. They have posters with his face on it all over the subway stations now to promote some new show he’s on, and I think I was just confused.

7. Andrew Shue, waiting for the train at 28th Street: I think this was really him, I swear.

8. Rashida Jones, walking up Park Avenue with a Forever 21 bag: Cute girl with sunglasses.

9. Bruce Willis, outside of one of those Chinese Trading Company stores near 6th Avenue: Older Indian gentleman (this sounds really ridiculous, I know, but the sun was in my eyes and he just had this weird, sexy smirk or something. It was like a spitting image for those two seconds I thought it was him). **Side note: I’m also pretty sure I saw him pushing a stroller in Columbus Circle. I think it was really him, I swear.

10. Lisa Bonet, on Madison Avenue: This one was actually her! I just kept thinking, “OMG, Mickey Rourke has touched your boobs (Angelheart!)!!!”

Krissy Howard is a writer living in Brooklyn. She is small and has black hair and has a dog that also has black hair.