Unprecedented Dishonesty
(Mild) scandal in the world of (bad) wedding speeches. Not to be confused with an equally niche plagiarism scandal that the Harvard Crimson is attempting vigorously to make into news.
Look, if you have to give a glurg-y wedding speech, and you’re short on time, just do a deadpan reading of the lyrics to “When I’m Sixty-Four.” They’ll love it, you’re a hero, everyone wins, Sir Paul McCartney’s legal representation eventually sends you a very reasonable bill.