The Newsroom in Verse

O Captain of Hindsight! O my captain

We wait, breath bated…BAITED
will the divine Will refuse to cover Jennifer Aniston’s engagement?

in just a few more years, when the imaginary past collides with
the future
notrealnews, you say
notrealnews

This task — my task
wearies me
Why mask
my horror?

your heroic characters all smoke
did you know?
it’s not a real flaw
not like being
a dick

Get better, it’s all I ask

the bechdel test? close
last night, but then “this guy.”
oh this guy
always

Each week, I hope
(the most dangerous of desires)
Jim, confess your love for Maggie

remove
your shirt
or pants
both?
Always, always it is neither

Just more women.
Angry
Crazy
Dumb
Incapable of using phones
or adverbs

(does Sloan’s butt look big? updates at ten)

Sorkin is clean now
but at what cost?
What is…lost?

Where is Allison Janney? Half a kingdom for even a Rob Lowe

let us rewatch “The American President”
and wake not to this world

but an older one
(older than 2010)

you can make this end

any time you want

(I can’t. I get off on hearing Sam Waterston swear.)

help me